A Silent Request !!

“Please don’t leave me now . It is all an act . I am not as tough as I appear to be . I am broken . I want to cry and tell you everything . Please , understand my silence is not becuase I dont want to tell you everything . I just don’t know how to tell . You are my friend and I know my words have hurt you. You think I am angry with you but you should know I am angry with myself .

Please hold onto me a little while longer. I am sorry I am such a hard person to read. Please don’t listen to what I have said  , you need to look through my act of toughness to see how vulnerable I am !  How much I need  a friend right now !

I need you to understand I lied when I said “I am ok ” . Dont take my words for it . You are my friend , you should know when I am telling a lie .

I need a friend right now whom I don’t have to tell how I feel. A friend who knows how much I am hurting right now ? How much I need a shoulder to cry upon ? A friend who would just stand by me until I am able to stabilize my emotions.

Please dont tell me to be strong right now . I know that already , the more you tell me that the more guilty I would feel. Be patient with me for a little while longer. ”

If she could she would scream these words so that her leaving friend would listen .

But she has not said a word. She is looking at her friend with all these words in her eyes . A silent request hangs between them . She is waiting,  waiting to be understood and accepted .


Highly Sensitive Person : Realization

She is a very big fan of Dr. Elaine Aron’s work , Dr. Aron’s book “The Highly Sensitive Person” is a wonderful book . She came across the term “Highly Sensitive Person” by chance . She learned about M.B.T.I. personality test and was very keen to learn about introversion . Her search on introversion led her to the description on trait of high sensitivity . Knowing about introversion revealed partial picture of her personality, there were many things that she could relate to but still a lot of things weren’t clear. Reading about H.S.P. made many things clear .

Let’s meet this person and find out why does she believe that she is a Highly Sensitive Person?

– She takes a lot of time in decision-making . Making a choice is very hard for her : Shopping is a nightmare for her , She gets very overwhelmed and couldn’t decide . As the number of choices increase so does her confusion and frustration  .Before reading about H.S.P. , she was unable to understand what’s wrong with her .She pondered for hours that why a task (shopping)  that made other people happy left her so confused ? There were times when she started crying because she was taking a lot of time to decide what to buy .

  – She gets easily overwhelmed :– She likes quiet environment and does not want to be the center of attention . Loud noises affect hers . Before learning about high sensitivity she felt strange as others did not feel the same way . There was an incident , a loud sound made her head ache once and as a result she fainted .

– She likes comfortable clothes ,coarse fabric bothers her .

– She cries a lot even on small things : Small gestures can make her cry . A memory of past can trigger deep emotions . She cries even when she is lost in her imaginative world or thinking about a story .

– She hates to upset others : She hates to see other person in pain or unhappy it makes her unhappy so she tries to make them feel happy . When someone asks her to give her stuff to them she instantly gives them that stuff so that they become happy .

– Other people’s emotions affect her : Mood of other people affect her greatly , if the people around her are unhappy or hurt it affects her too.

– She over-analyzes things and situations .

– She needs alone time to unload her thoughts : Alone time helps her recharge her energy and to think .Her energy drains quickly  and needs sleep or regular breaks .

– She is quiet and reserved (introversion related): She doesn’t open up to others .

  – She wants to make positive change in this world i.e. to somehow make it a better place for less privileged .

Making a career choice was one of the hardest decision of her life:  At that time she didn’t have any information about her personality type and the trait of high sensitivity . She was so confused and frustrated with herself because most of her friends and classmates were very clear and quick in decision-making they knew what they wanted . On the other hand she wanted to do something special and meaningful .She made some horrible choice , due to time pressure and to avoid conflict she took decisions related to career choice that were wrong and not suitable for her personality.

She likes to help others : Although she is quite reserved and a quiet person . She likes to teach others . Whenever one of her friends or classmate has an issue or difficulty with their studies they seek her help and she tries her best to explain those topics .  She feels sorry to disappoint others .

She cries a lot : Watching someone die on a TV show or movie makes her cry . She still cries on small things and can’t stop her tears .

– She follows rules : She likes order and structure .

– She hates being late : She plans ahead and reach places 30-45 minutes before the given time .

  – She hates being watched or judged . 

– Negative comments and failure  affect her deeply.

– She is a highly achiever :  She wants to do everything right and pay attention to small details and minute requirements .

– She tends to undervalue her self : Regardless of all her achievements ,  she tends to  doubt her capabilities and undermine  herself .  – She is not good at verbal communication the thought of being watched overwhelms her .

– She feels extreme temperature more than others i.e. she feels more  cold and use more  jackets and warm clothes than others.

She is not a risk taker and changes affect her very much : She needs time to be prepared for things.

According to some online tests and her understanding of Dr. Elaine Aron’s work she is a highly sensitive person .

Easily Rattled

There exists a group of people who are different from the rest of the population  .  They have a unique trait but usually they are unaware about its awesomeness . According to different sources, this group consists of 15-20% of population. They get overwhelmed easily in other words they are easily rattled . Even small changes are sometimes too much for them .

If you haven’t read the term Highly Sensitive Person(HSP) or read/heard about the book , “Highly Sensitive Person” by Dr. Elaine Aron then you must be thinking who are these people and where are they ?

This book has answered many questions . It has helped these people  make sense of their lives .

Even if you are not an HSP , chances are someone you know is one . I would request all of you to take out time and read about this trait .